2015.05.14 – Glad Today is Behind Me!

I was so nervous all day. I hadn’t done as well as hoped for an interview but they liked me enough to ask me back for some pair programming. This terrifies me. I think it’s been talked about so much as such an awful experience that I just can’t calm down and relax.

I was meeting Amanda for lunch first but my stomach was a mess. She had invited a co-worker with her who happens to have an open position at UA. I couldn’t believe she thought of me and got it all set up to have him join us! I was so thankful. We met at Tilt near UA and John joined us a bit later. He was really nice and the position sounds very interesting and like something I would enjoy doing. He seemed to like me as well and suggested we set up interviews for the following week. Great! So lunch was a mix of excitement and dread. I told Amanda I had to leave for a doctor appointment because I couldn’t even verbalize what I was about to go do or I might panic and cancel.

I knew that it was a fear I needed to get over though so even if I completely bombed at least I will have the experience and it was with a group of really nice people so there’s that 🙂 I drove over and found a place to park which is not the easiest thing to do near their building. My stomach was in a knot and I really just wanted to go home but I didn’t. I went up and we got right to it. John sat with me first and naturally wanted to work with my nemesis JavaScript! That shut me down right away and I completely fumbled through the entire exercise. It. Was. AWFUL. Ashton came in next but I was totally vapor locked at this point. We worked in Python on my code that I wrote and I couldn’t function. I couldn’t do the things I knew like the back of my hand. It was so ridiculous yet interesting at the same time because I had never really seen this side of me. I knew I had to be better than this down the road and would need to work on it somehow.

Rob came in and I could tell he was pretty uncomfortable having to tell me it wasn’t going to work out but I understood. I know I could have done an excellent job for them but I couldn’t show that in the artificial circumstance they put me in. He said they don’t do pair programming enough with potential hires and they really should do more but I think that’s going to just weed out even more competent people. Not everyone who is capable can perform under those circumstances. There has to be a better way but tech companies seem to want to stick with the status quo. Anyway, I did it and I didn’t die so there’s that! Please let me look back on this in a year and laugh.

Today I learned that under extreme stress I can’t computer.